Dirty Dreaming
by MorganlovesFriends
Summary: "I can't believe you two had sex in her dream!" Ross exclaimed...And then he pounced on her, relinquishing all the passion he contained just for her that had been dormant for almost a decade. Review PLEASE!  :


**Dirty Dreaming**

Hey! This story, most likely a one-shot, is based on "TOW the Ick Factor"! I have never seen this episode played out before in a fan fiction (If you have, let me know I would be glad to read another writer's interpretation!) and I thought it would be a very interesting twist to the script, please enjoy and let me know what you think! I tweaked the actual plot of the episode just a tad to suit my likings. …It might be Rated R for your pleasure(;

{ P.S. If any one of you can find one of the words that Joey used from his word of the day toilet paper that Chandler gave to him I'll give you a prize of some sort, we'll work out a negotiation!(: }

Disclaimer: Do you really believe that I would be wasting my time writing about the six of them when I could be sitting down on the orange couch with them if I actually owned them? Heck nah! (:

Ross walked into Central Perk feeling very happy with his life as of new. He was going to be a father soon, his boss was considering him for a promotion because of his "heroics" in the skirmish between the teenage boys who vandalized one of the museum exhibits with a not so subtle gay joke, and his friends made all of his days worth living for, especially one in particular. As he sat down he overheard Monica reprimand Rachel, "Tell him, Rach!"

Rachel replied back with a firm "No!"

"C'mon! Tell me what?" Chandler imparted.

"Look at you Rach, you won't even look at him." Monica all but giggled.

Sarcastically Chandler retorted, "Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me."

Rachel sighed in surrender. "All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were..." However, before Rachel could even delve into an account of her mortifyingly embarrassing dream Phoebe barged in on the conversation, "Doing it on the table!"

"Wow!" was all Chandler could utter. Joey was quick to state in that infamous saucy tone he pulled off so well "Excellent dream score." Ross' face paled, and he silently thought to himself what a disaster walking into the coffee shop had turned out to be.

"Why, why, why would you dream that?" Ross squealed. His voice becoming shrill, much like Monica's when she became competitive.

The ever so witty Chandler inquired, "More importantly, was I any good?"

Rachel who had finally lost her previous shame countered Chandler's question, "Well, you were pretty damn good." With those words articulated Ross was becoming irate with envy for his best friend. Chandler did not even have an inkling of the feelings Ross possessed for Rachel, the one and only woman that had consumed Ross' thoughts for the past decade.

Inaudibly to no one but himself Ross whispered, "Why couldn't she just dream about me? One damn dream out of the thousands my mind fabricated about her since the ninth grade…"

Sensing the tension Chandler quipped "Interesting, 'cause in my dreams, I'm always surprisingly inadequate." Monica soothingly patted his knee.

Naively with an absence of any sensitivity towards Ross' predicament Rachel cleverly remarked "Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table."

Ross fed up with the situation at hand deadpanned, "I love it, when we share."

Abruptly Chandler excused himself from the snug orange tinged couch to grab another cup of coffee. Trailing behind, Ross nearly tripped over his own feet attempting to get to Chandler before he seated himself once more.

"You okay there?" Chandler questioned amusedly.

"I can´t believe you two had sex in her dream!" Ross exclaimed.

"I´m sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and it was somebody else´s subconscious." Chandler taunted. Ross knowing that Chandler wouldn't cease his sarcastic ways abandoned the subject in an effort to forget the day's turn of events, deliberating that it would be best to drop the matter for that to essentially work.

Later on, the gang retired back to apartment 20.

"Okay, André should be there in like 45 minutes," Ross grunted into the phone, "All rightie, bye bye." From the looks he received from Phoebe and Joey he was quick to justify himself "Just easier that way."

From the couch, Chandler adamantly insisted, "Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream!" Rachel dismissed his quest for more details, "No, forget it!"

Chandler, incessantly the one that was able to hastily retort a witty comment, "Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?" He waggled his eyebrows has he made an attempt to crack Rachel's reserve.

At last Rachel forfeited under his relentlessly interrogation, "All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there…Joey was there too."

"All right!" Joey animatedly cheered.

Ross being the singled out male of the gang had to discover if he was included in Rachel's pleasurable dreams about his friends, "Was there...uh, huh, huh, huh... anybody, anybody else there?"

Unbeknownst to Ross' hopeful inquiry Rachel replied with a simple "No."

"You´re sure? Nobody uh, handed out uh, mints or anything?"

"Nah, it was just the three of us."

Joey uttered a question of curiosity, "So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?"

"He, he, he. You know what?...There were times when it wasn´t even me." Rachel ribbed. Chandler and Joey broke out in hysterics until it dawned on them the true meaning behind her words.

Later on that night, while Monica was out with 'Young Ethan' Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe partook in a Soap Opera Marathon, the occasion for it being advertised as Susan Lucci's 1,000th episode to be aired on television. Phoebe departed an hour earlier excusing herself by stating that she had to be at a secret work party, when questioned by both of them about Chandler's presence at said festivity, Phoebe dismissed the curiosity with a warning glance. Opportunely to Phoebe's benefit and possibly Ross' as well, Joey and Chandler were at a Rangers game.

Ross glanced over to the side of him and noticed Rachel's sleeping form, quietly he turned off the television and enveloped her in a blanket. Heaving a sigh, he settled himself down in the armchair praying against all adversaries that Rachel was not envisioning her latest reoccurring dream that involved his college roommate while she dozed off on the couch.

Out of the blue, or in the middle of the blue in Ross' clouded mind, Rachel began rambling in her sleep, "Ooooooh," here she began stroking her hand to the pillow she cuddled up against, "Oh, that´s nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross."

Elated to finally witness Rachel have a dream regarding him, and in the most intimate of ways, he literally jumped for joy and commenced dancing on the coffee table. However, in his moment of euphoria he totally forgot that Monica kept coasters on her coffee table and slipped immediately, and landed right on Rachel. "Darn Monica and her hatred for water rings!" Ross silently cursed.

Still hazed over from her dream Rachel uttered his name, "Ross?"

"I´m here." He pronounced.

"You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just..." she rambled.

"What?"

"Just having," hastily she realized the predicament she was in, "I was just having a dream."

Ross sensed this to be the perfect time to prod her about the intimate dream "About what? Puppies, Ch-chandler and Joey, or…or-orr?" His nerves got the best of him.

"About you." Rachel stated modestly. Rachel suddenly became aware of his body above hers, but couldn't move due to the security his embrace provided, be it on accident or not.

"Me? What exactly about me?"

"Well, uh you and me…me and you were uh kinda doing it-uh right here on this couch."

As a result of her words Ross' jaw dropped, it certainly could have created a hole in the floor it plunged so low. The woman for whom he would readily give his life for just admitted to engaging in sex with him in a dream.

In a slurred attempt to counter to Rachel's frank reply Ross could only pacify himself enough to say, "Uh-uh, was I any good?"

"Amazing."

And then he pounced on her, relinquishing all the passion he contained just for her that had been dormant for almost a decade. Primarily, his kiss was tender, and she was pedantic toward his assault at first but surrendered when his teeth sunk into her lower lip causing her to moan in ecstasy. Rapidly it developed into a fiery need that neither had known was possible. His lips shifted down to her neck, she tilted her head for better access.

"Mmm, Ross. Ro-"

His hands rested on her waist, as his thumbs traced small circles that became more unyielding when they slowly inched upwards, her shirt pooling where the sensitive skin where her breasts came to a stop, his fingers brushed lightly over her stomach. Then his mouth latched onto her skin, kissing and nipping where he deemed would make her moan.

"God, Ross, please."

He snarled, the animal in him awakening. He lifted the shirt off of her and stared at the cleavage produced from her bra. His erection was making his pants tremendously uncomfortable. Removing her bra was no arduous task, as soon as he slid it off her shoulders he massaged her breasts, he squeezed her pert nipples making them hard.

"You're beautiful."

"Pants off." Rachel grumbled. She fumbled with his belt and nearly ripped off his pants as she pulled them down his muscular legs. Once his pants disappeared from around his ankles she stroked his hard-on with vigor, causing him to knead her breasts with force eliciting a whimper from the back of her throat.

"Rach, God Rachel." Ross groaned.

"Yes, Ross?...Ross, honey?" a voice from what seemed to be a remote distance called.

_Shit_. He had been dreaming.


End file.
